I have the impression that many people who find my blog may be interested in learning how to initiate romantic relationships. While I write about relationships more generally, I think much of the advice is also very useful for those working on romantic relationships. However, in our culture, and especially on television and in magazines, there is a lot of emphasis on superficial qualities, and it leads many people to assume that if they don't have these qualities (like good looks, a sleek new car, quick wit), there's at a serious disadvantage in the relationship "market". I don't think that's true at all.Maybe young people, who are still dependent on their parents for support, have the luxury of focusing on the more superficial qualities. But a woman who has been out on her own for any serious length of time, and has experienced the ups and downs of life, generally has a more well-thought out list of "desirable" qualities. Of course, I am married now and have been for eleven years, but when I was looking for love, these were the top eight qualities on my list:
1. Being open-hearted: being deeply in touch with his own emotions, and able to express love in a generous and unselfish way
2. Being honest and trustworthy
3. Being on my intellectual level: able to have a conversation with me that I find stimulating, and able to rationally challenge me to think about things in different ways
4. Being responsible and reliable, especially with money and household chores
5. Having a good sense of humor, and not taking life too seriously
6. Being even-tempered: not getting too upset or moody over life's little setbacks, able to "go with the flow"
7. Being emotionally supportive: having good listening skills
8. Not being controlling or overly possessive
As it turned out, I married a man who has every one of those qualities. It is entirely possible to get what you want in a partner, if you are willing to really work at finding the right person, and not just sit back thinking you should wait for destiny to send someone your way.
Please help out (whether you're a woman or a man) and comment with your list of most desired qualities in a partner, so that all those readers here who are looking for love can get a realistic idea about what personal qualities are likely to have the greatest appeal.
